Tuesday, April 5, 2016
Cop and a Half: Episode 17 - Those Ogres Are Quite Odd
Another transfer. Lem grimaced as he looked over the railing of the boat that was taking them gods-knew-where. He still recalled the look on the chief's face as he and Valeros had told him about the Skinsaw Cult, led by one of the chief justices of Magnimar. The man wasn't concerned at all about the welfare of the citizens, but only about the security of his position. If the city council had learned that the chief of police had allowed a death cult to operate in the city, it was likely that he would be deemed unfit to wear the badge. So instead of commendations, Valeros and Lem had been transferred to some out of the way hamlet called Turtleback Ferry.
Lem
Card Feat: Spellx2
Skill Feat: Charisma +3
Power Feat: Recharge a card to add 1d4+2 to another character’s check at your location
Starting Deck
Heavy Crossbow
Acolyte
Burglar
Toad
Toxic Cloud
Haste
Cure
Frost Ray
Holy Light
Lightning Bolt
Medusa Mask
Sihedron Medallion
Blessing of Erastil
Blessing of Pharasma x2
Blessing of Shelyn
Blessing of Desna
Valeros looked over at Lem and frowned. The halfling had expected to be wreathed in garlands and given a parade for taking down the Skinsaw Cult. Valeros knew better. He had been sent to Sandpoint for doing his job, and expected that what he and Lem had done would be swept under the rug. That was how they did business in Magnimar, and how people like the chief could keep their jobs. Turtleback Ferry sounded like a nice enough place. Maybe they could finally stick around for a change. Surely there would be things that needed killing there.
Valeros
Card Feat: Item, Blessing
Skill Feat: Strength +3
Power Feat: Hand Size 5, Add 1d4+1 to another character’s combat check at your location
Starting Deck
Impaler of Thorns
Scythe+1
Icy Longspear+1
Shock Longbow
Warhammer+1
Magic Shield
Magic Leather Armor
Magic Half Plate
Burglar
Grizzled Mercenary
Holy Candle
Staff of Minor Healing
Masterwork Tools
Blessing of Torag x2
Blessing of Sarenrae
Blessing of Gorum
Blessing of Iomedae
As the hamlet came into view, Lem took another swig from his flask of wine. The place looked pitiful. Surrounded by heavily forested mountains with the exception of the river on which they traveled, Turtleback Ferry was a small settlement founded by rangers and refugees. The homes there were little more than thatch-roofed huts. Lem never thought he would think this, but he missed Magnimar.
Turn 1
Lem – BoG
Turtleback Ferry
Potion of Gracefulness – Intelligence = D6 = 1 = Fail
Discard BoShelyn explore – Consecration – Divine = D10+4 = 5 = Fail
Valeros considered the landscape as they approached. It still wasn't quite like the forests surrounding Sandpoint, but certainly there would be things to kill here. He just hoped the rangers weren't all stuffy "please-don't-kill-the-wildlife" types like he had known in the past.
Turn 2
Valeros – BoG
Turtleback Ferry
Toad – Intelligence + Lem recharge = D6 + D4+2 = 5 = Fail
Lem passed the wine to Valeros and started to gather his belongings. The small riverboat was rapidly approaching the settlement now. The craft stopped at a small pier adjacent to the hamlet and the pair disembarked. At least the air here was fresh, Lem thought, trying to look on the bright side.
Turn 3
Lem – BoG
Wand of Force Missile – Arcane = D10+4 = 12 = Success
Discard BoDesna explore – Cyrdak Drokkus – Diplomacy = D10+6 = Auto-Succeed
There was no one to greet them when they arrived, but that suited Valeros just fine. He double-checked all his weapons and went ashore. Judging by the number of homes and their size, he guessed that less than a hundred people lived here. That suited him just fine as well.
They began their trek towards town when a commotion sounded ahead of them. One of the buildings suddenly burst into flames, and they could hear shouting and the sounds of battle. Valeros broke into a sprint, unsheathing the longspear they had acquired from the lamia in Magnimar. It hummed with a peculiar energy that he hoped would prove useful.
Rounding the corner of one of the outlying buildings, chaos played out before them. The small hamlet was under siege by a small host of undead creatures. Behind them were huge creatures, ogres most likely, that appeared to be commanding them. Valeros spat in disgust and thrust his spear into the nearest foul creature he could find.
Turn 4
Valeros – BoG
Shadow – Impaler of Thorns + Lem recharge = D10+6 + D8+2 + D4+2 = Auto-Success
Lem took advantage of the chaos and snuck around behind the undead. Approaching one of the ogres, he put on the mask that he had taken from the lamia. He was eager to see how it worked.
"Hey! Over here!" he yelled to the creature.
It turned, but as it looked at Lem, it appeared to freeze in place. That would be handy, Lem thought.
Turn 5
Lem – BoIrori
Graul Ogrekin – Medusa Mask – Put him back on top of the location
Valeros liked this place already. He was hacking and slashing his way through ranks of foul creatures. It was nice to be back on land and stretching his legs. He saw one of the ogres was turned away from the battle. Seizing the opportunity, he impaled the huge creature on his spear. It didn't even grunt in pain as he did so, and collapsed without any reaction whatsoever. Now that the creature was down, Valeros could see what it was focused on: Lem wearing that gods-awful mask he had insisted on taking from the lamia.
Turn 6
Valeros – BoAbadar
Graul Ogrekin – D4 before encounter – 4 – Put him on bottom of location deck after encounter
Impaler of Thorns + Lem recharge = D10+6 + D8+2 + D4+2 = 20 = Success = Ogrekin goes to the bottom of the deck
Lem was about to check the fallen ogre for loot, but a high-pitched battle cry startled him. He turned and saw perhaps a half-dozen goblins charging at them from the brush nearby. Lem rolled his eyes and unloaded his wand on them while Valeros waded into the band of tiny creatures with his spear. They made short work of the goblins.
Turn 7
Lem – BoG
Goblin Raid – Each character summons a Goblin Raider henchman
Lem – Wand of Force Missile + Valeros = 5D4+1 = 13 = Success
Valeros - Impaler of Thorns = Auto-Success
Recharge Wand = Fail
Valeros did not pause, continuing his march through the ranks of the attacking horde. He shoved his spear through a foul zombie, and heaved it to one side.
Turn 8
Valeros – BoPharasma
BoG – Auto-Acquire
Discard BoG explore – Plague Zombie – Impaler of Thorns = D10+6 + D8+2 = Auto-Success
Lem snuck up on another one of the massive ogres and unleashed a powerful bolt of lightning from his hands. The bolt went right through the beast, and it fell with a smoking hole in it's chest. Lem could see the Turtleback defenders beginning to drive back the ranks of undead, and ran to a nearby farmhouse to aid them.
Turn 9
Lem – BoSarenrae
Graul Ogrekin – D4 before encounter – May not be evaded
Lightning Bolt + Valeros – D10+4 + 3D6 + D4+1 = 28 = Success
Recharge Lightning Bolt = Success
Move to Farmhouse
Valeros saw Lem and ran to join him. These rangers and other assorted citizens had done well. Only one of the many homes was ablaze, and very few of the defenders had fallen to the onslaught. It was nice to be around people who weren't completely useless.
Turn 10
Valeros - BoGorum
Banish Masterwork Tools = Close location
Draw item from the box for closing – Sage’s Journal
Move to Farmhouse
Lem moved into position behind a makeshift barricade near the farmhouse. The defenders paid him no mind as he did so. In the distance, he could see the undead were thinning, and the ogres had paused the attack in order to regroup. It was curious to Lem that ogres would be commanding undead; or commanding anything at all, for that matter. They were not the brightest of creatures.
Turn 11
Lem – BoNorgorber
Monster in the closet – Wisdom + BoErastil + Valeros BoIomedae = 3D6 = 12 = Success
Discard Toad explore – Codex – Choose to Banish forever
Valeros had reached Lem and the other defenders. He took stock of their position. The barricade was located in a strategically sound area, and he could see from the looks on the defenders faces that this was not the first attack they had suffered at the hands of these ogres. He looked at Lem and nodded. He knew he didn't have to worry about the halfling's safety. They had been through worse than this.
Turn 12
Valeros – BoPharasma
Holy Water – Choose to Banish forever
Lem took a moment to tend to some minor wounds he had suffered during the skirmish, and then tended the wounded defenders as well. These were a hardy folk, but they thanked him all the same for his efforts. One of the rangers, their leader by the looks of it, approached him. He regarded both Lem and Valeros before speaking.
"We welcome your help, strangers. Who are you?"
But before Lem could answer, the regrouped band of ogres began their assault once more.
Turn 13
Lem – BoG
Quarterstaff – Choose to Banish forever
Cure – 5
Recharge Cure = Success
Discard BoPharasma explore – Ring of Protection – Con = D6 = 1 = Fail
Valeros skewered a spectre upon his spear and charged into the thick of battle with a murderous shout. The undead were immune to fear, but the ogres were not. They took notice of the man as he whirled through the ranks of undead, thrusting his spear in a frenzy. Even to these brutish creatures, the sight was unnerving.
Turn 14
Valeros – BoG
Spectre – Impaler of Thorns + Lem recharge = D10+6 + D8+2 + D4+2 = Auto-Success
Lem wasted no time in sneaking behind enemy lines. He hated to admit it, but he was actually having fun. This time, he looked for the leader of these ogres, hoping to end this attack at the source. He peered over a bush, and gasped in shock. Before him was the most grotesque ogre he had ever seen. She, he assumed it was a female, was clad in tattered animal furs and between the furs, pale flabby flesh oozed forth. Her long hair was thin and lay in greasy strands around her misshapen face.
Large, even for an ogre, she heaved her massive weight and turned to face him.
"There you are, little rat. I could smell your stink." She smiled through cracked lips, showing what few teeth she had left, and raised her hand. Skeletons appeared on either side of her and charged at the halfling. Lem blasted them with holy light, shattering their bones. He then summoned a poisonous cloud over the ogress and blasted her with a ray of ice. The ogress staggered backward, coughing, but was not yet finished.
Turn 15
Lem – BoLamashtu
Ameiko Kaijitsu – Diplomacy = D10+6 = Auto-Success
Haste explore – Mammy Graul – Summon and encounter Ancient Skeleton
Lem – Holy Light + Valeros – D10+4 + 2D12 + D4+1 = 23 = Success
Valeros – Impaler of Thorns = D10+6 + D8+2 = 19 = Success
Mammy – Toxic Cloud + Frost Ray + Valeros = D10+4 + D6 + 2D6 + D4+1 = 20 = Success
Mammy is undefeated since this is the first time she is encountered
Recharge Haste = Fail
Recharge Toxic Cloud = Success
Recharge Frost Ray = Success
Recharge Holy Light = Fail
She staggered backward directly onto the point of Valeros' spear. She screamed in pain and fell forward off of the spear. Her flabby back glistened with blood and Valeros moved in to finish the job. But as he drove his spear downward, it hit nothing but earth. The ogress had vanished! Valeros cursed and spat on the ground where the foul beast had fallen. He should have known that a creature capable of summoning this undead army would have the ability to teleport.
Turn 16
Valeros - BoCalistria
Mammy Graul – Summon ancient skeleton
Lem – Heavy Crossbow + Valeros = D8 + D10 + D4+1 = 10 = Success
Valeros – Impaler of Thorns = Auto-Success
Mammy – Impaler of Thorns + Lem recharge = D10+6 + D8+2 + D4+2 = 23 = Success
Location closed
With their leader gone, the remaining ogres fled back towards the mountains. Lem and Valeros chased after them, and found themselves facing a massive ogre that stood before a wooden bridge. The bridge itself was of ogre-make, crude and massive, just as the ogres themselves were. It was fashioned of huge logs strung together by saplings and vines. Below the bridge was a yawning chasm that was deep enough that Lem could not see the bottom.
He turned his attention back to the ogre that faced them. This was, no doubt, the rearguard. In place to protect his fleeing kin. Like the rest, this one was hideous to look at. Even so, this one was a special kind of ugly. masses of flesh hung from it's face, and on those masses were eyes and mouths that hung limply.
Despite it's deformity, the creature was huge, brandishing a club that was in actuality a tree it had torn from the ground. Lem aimed his crossbow and fired at the thing's hideous face. His bolt struck true, and the creature toppled with a thunderous crash. Lem felt fortunate that neither of them had had to face that creature in melee combat.
Turn 17
Lem – BoIrori
Wooden Bridge
Crowfood Graul – Heavy Crossbow + BoErastil = D8 + D10 + 2D10 = 19 = Success
Dex check to close + Banish Ameiko + BoDesna = D8 + D8 + D6 = Success
Mammy is there, so location remains open with her there
Valeros leapt over the carcass of the creature and sprinted across the bridge. At the other side, he could see the huge form of the ogress. She was incanting a spell, her flabby lips working furiously to form the unholy words. Skeletons leapt from the ground in front of her, blocking Valeros' path. Lem fired his crossbow at them, shattering one. Valeros did not slow his stride, planting his spear in another skeleton and vaulting over it to reach the ogress. He smashed her jaw with the butt of his spear, just before she vanished once more. Now Valeros was [i]really [/i]mad.
Turn 18
Valeros – BoIomedae
Wooden Bridge
Mammy – Summon Ancient Skeletons
Lem – Heavy Crossbow + Valeros = D8 + D10 + D4+1 = 15 = Success
Valeros = Impaler of Thorns = Auto-Success
Mammy – Impaler of Thorns + Lem Recharge = D10+6 + D8+2 + D4+2 = 29 = Success
Location closed
Lem followed Valeros into the woods. He almost pitied that ogress. When Valeros reached her, the result would not be pretty. As they ran through the thick pines, a few goblins sought to ambush them. Lem's crossbow made short work of them. As he stopped to reload, a massive hound leapt from the nearby brush. It bowled the halfling over, and Lem did his best to jam his crossbow between himself and the slobbering beast that snapped at his face.
Lem blasted the creature backward with lightning and it scampered off into the woods. Wiping the saliva from his face, Lem took a moment to catch his breath. That was a close one.
Turn 19
Lem – BoDesna
Woods
Goblin Cutpurse – Heavy Crossbow = D8 + D10 = 9 = Success
Discard BoShelyn explore – BoG
Discard BoG explore – Ruckus Graul and Hound – Heavy crossbow = D8 + D10 = 7 = Fail = 3 Damage = Sihedron medallion reduced to 0
Recharge medallion = Fail
Second check – Lightning Bolt – D10+4 + 3D6 = 16 = Success
Ruckus is shuffled back in
Recharge Lightning Bolt = Fail
Valeros was focused on the hunt. He could smell these foul ogres easily enough, and he was sure that their trail would lead him to their leader. She would not be able to teleport away so easily with a broken jaw. The forest was thick, full of animals and other creatures, but it was easy enough to follow the stench.
Turn 20
Valeros - BoG
Lem Cure – 4
Recharge Cure = Success
Woods
Potion of Glibness – Choose to Banish forever
Lem was doing his best to catch up with Valeros, but the man had legs more than twice as long as his. Fortunately, he could just follow the ogre trail and know that he was on the right track. He skidded to a stop as he nearly ran into Valeros. He looked to see what had stopped the man in his tracks and gasped involuntarily.
Before them was a crude ogre camp. That was not unexpected. What shocked Lem was that within the camp, robed humanoid figures stood chanting around a great cauldron. The robes they wore were nearly identical to those of the Skinsaw cult! Lem's eyes narrowed as he fired his crossbow into one of the men. Valeros followed his attack, impaling another on his spear.
Turn 21
Lem – BoCalistria
Skinsaw Ritual – Summon and encounter Skinsaw Cultist
Lem – Heavy Crossbow + Valeros = D8 + D10 + D4+1 = 17 = Success
Valeros = Impaler of Thorns + Lem recharge = Auto-Success
Valeros was struck in the shoulder by a crude flaming arrow. Fortunately, the blow was mostly absorbed by his armor. He turned and crushed the skull of the goblin that had fired it.
Turn 22
Valeros – BoTorag
Glaive – Melee = D10+6 = 13 = Success
Recharge BoTorag explore – Goblin Pyro – Impaler of thorns = Auto-Success
1 damage from Pyro
Lem fired a frost ray at a zombie giant that lumbered towards him. The blast hit it in the legs, freezing them to the ground. Unfortunately for the zombie, it's forward momentum sent it toppling forward, severing it's legs at the knee.
Turn 23
Lem – BoLamashtu
Zombie Giant – Frost Ray + Valeros = D10+4 + 2D6 + D4+1 = 20 = Success
Recharge Frost Ray = Fail
Valeros put his spear through it's head, then reached down and retrieved the belt from the fallen giant's waist. Lem could see that the belt was not of giant or ogre-make and as Valeros fastened it around him, it shrunk in size to fit him. A zombie giant wearing a magical belt? Skinsaw cultists? What did this all mean?
Turn 24
Valeros – BoShelyn
Belt of Giant Strength – Strength + Lem recharge = Auto-Success
Holy Candle – 2
Lem didn't have much time to ponder these questions as a fresh wave of zombies descended upon them. He and Valeros waded through the walking corpses. Killing these things was easy enough, but they couldn't do it forever. They needed to find that ogress and end this.
Turn 25
Lem – BoShelyn
Zombie Horde – Summon Zombie Minion
Lem – Heavy Crossbow + Valeros = D8 + D10 + D4+1 = 12 = Success
Valeros – Impaler of Thorns + Belt of Giant Strength = Auto-Success
They fought their way to a great hut at the opposite end of the camp. This must be the lair of the ogress. They were about to enter the crude structure when it burst open. Shards of wood flew in all directions like shrapnel. In the gaping hole left by the explosion was a creature unlike anything the pair had ever seen.
It was a hideous amalgamation of flesh and plant. Vine-like tentacles lathed the air, and a great maw in the center of the mass snapped and slobbered as the flabby mass of it's body heaved towards them. Valeros thrust his spear at the thing, piercing the mass. The thing appeared unfazed by the attack, however. Lem shot at it with his crossbow, and it was similarly ineffective.
Turn 26
Valeros – BoShelyn
Muck Graul – Impaler of Thorns + Lem Recharge + Belt of Giant Strength – D10+6 + D8+2 + D4+2 + 1 = 23 = Success, but no fire so it’s undefeated
Lem encounters it now – Heavy Crossbow + Valeros = D8 + D10 + D4+1 = 17 = Success = Muck goes on the bottom of the location deck, but because of Woods ability, he is banished
"Valeros, take her down! I'll distract this thing!" Lem cried, hoping he could actually succeed in doing so. "If we take her out, maybe this thing will go down with her!"
Turn 27
Lem – BoCalistria
Valeros nodded and charged into the remains of the hut. The ogress sat upon a chair of bone, panting and bleeding from the wounds in her back and jaw. She lifted her head to regard the man as he entered.
"Yoouu, can't win." she mumbled, through the blood and saliva that oozed from her mouth. "This's jus' the beginnin'."
With that, Valeros ended her with the point of his spear. As he stepped back outside, he watched the creature that had attacked them seem to deflate, dissolving into a bubbling ooze. The rest of the ogres that remained had fled into the mountains. Valeros looked to his companion.
"Not bad for a first day." he mused.
Turn 28
Valeros – BoErastil
Mammy Graul – Summon Ancient Skeleton
Lem – Heavy Crossbow + Valeros = D8 + D10 + D4+1 = 13 = Success
Valeros – Auto-Success
Mammy – Impaler of Thorns + Lem recharge + Lem BoShelyn + Belt of Giant Strength = D10+6 + D8+2 D4+2 + D10 + 1 = 21 = Success
Scenario Reward – Skill Feat
Lem – Charisma
Valeros – Strength
Post-Game Analysis
Boy, that Turtleback Ferry was a pain to get through. It took like half the game by itself. Also, I can imagine that Muck Graul being the worst thing ever if I had killed the henchman but not closed the location. This pair doesn't really have any fire damage. Not really any new boons this time around, but it was nice to banish a lot of the basic cards. I'm looking forward to thinning the various decks out.
Till next time!
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